


Tumblr Prompts: Evelyn Shepard/Joker

by QueenoftheHobbits



Series: OTP: Keep Your Hat On... [2]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Couple, Cute, F/M, Fluff, Tumblr, basically fulfilling my need for shoker stuff, jokermance, otp: keep your hat on, prompt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-14
Updated: 2015-06-14
Packaged: 2018-04-04 09:36:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4132632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenoftheHobbits/pseuds/QueenoftheHobbits





	Tumblr Prompts: Evelyn Shepard/Joker

**Prompted by Solaire-of-Terra on tumblr: Lygerastia - The condition of one who is only amorous when the lights are out.**

“Evie, next time you want to set the mood by turning off the lights, maybe you could wait until i’m on the bed and not at the top of the stairs, yeah?” Joker complained as Chakwas poked and prodded his leg. He was stuck in the med-bay and for once it wasn’t his own fault. Someone really needed to talk to Shepard about the finer points of lovemaking and how you shouldn’t turn lights off until everyone is in a safe place. Like a bed. 

“I’m so sorry, Joker…” To give her, her dues Evelyn Shepard looked rather sorry and very very sheepish. But, even if seeing Commander Shepard look so much like a 5 year old who’d broken a vase was amusing, it didn’t really make-up for the broken leg he was sporting. It was hard enough getting around with his Vroliks let alone a broken leg to boot. 

“Yeah, Commander that’s what you say every time I break a leg…” He hissed as Chakwas pulled something she probably was supposed to, but it hurt anyway. In truth the Commander didn’t often break his bones, there was the broken forearm from where she…where she died and dragged him out of his chair. But she rarely broken anything of his. He rarely broken anything anymore anyway. It just sucked when it did happen. 

“I just…I didn’t think, okay?” Yeah, he knew. The first time they’d gotten together you could tell she was thinking or overthinking and slowly that drifted away…now she apparently didn’t think at all and while Joker wasn’t one to complain when a woman was so eager to sleep with him, he wasn’t inclined to applaud her breaking his bones…or hurting either of them in anyway. 

“Do you ever think?” He knew he maybe shouldn’t have been so snippy with her, especially as only 30 minutes ago they’d been making out in her cabin, but having a bone reset and having medi-gel injected into the break was never fun, but his pain tolerance had grown pretty high. You get hurt a lot in childhood and that has a tendency to happen.

“Sometimes…I think when I drive the Mako…” Evelyn was kind of offended, but to be fair Joker looked like he was rather uncomfortable, which considering a big needle was in his leg would explain a lot…she felt really, really terribly bad. She’d completely forgotten that maybe Joker wouldn’t be able to navigate down stairs in the dark….

“Really? Cause your driving would suggest otherwise” The amount of times Garrus had complained about the Mako losing half it’s underside, additional to the fact he had recordings of Tali screaming on whatever planet they were on, provided enough proof to say that Evie was not a good driver. Which is why he never let her anywhere near his chair and the controls for the Normandy, no matter how much she begged. The last think he needed was her to crash the Normandy into the Citadel. 

“…I hate you…” She liked to think she was a good driver, sure there was that time she went flying over a mountain and flipped the Mako, but really who counted that at all! 

“I’m supposed to be the one who hates you, you made me break my leg!” Joker gestured to the leg, laid out on the cot. He’d have to stay in the med-bay until Chakwas felt he could limp his way up to the helm. He didn’t trust his cover pilot with the Normandy, but the doc would kill him if he disobeyed her. 

“I said I was sorry!” 

“I was supposed to get laid not get broken!” He wasn’t sure what he was more upset about: the broken leg or the fact he missed out on getting laid…he really wanted to have sex too…he’d been stressed out about the end of the universe and all that. But apparently fate liked to laugh at him and break his bones. 

“I’m sorry! I owe you one, okay?!”

“You’re lucky I can’t hate you, Evie, both because we work together and because I like you too much” He was kind of glad in that moment that she was used to his sarcasm and his ornery attitude. He doubted he’d still have a super badass girlfriend if she wasn’t…he was also kind of glad she was tiny, it made him feel like she wouldn’t boot him out of an airlock.

“Oh hardy ha ha.”


End file.
